Back in Black

Oh.  I think that's supposed to be "back on track."  I just love song lyric post titles, though!  I'm wearing black pants.  Does that count?

This past week, I've been feeling a lot like a spinning record (sinusitis and a plugged ear from said affliction).  It doesn't help that as I'm writing this Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Round" is playing.  The lightheaded, fluffy feeling and bouts of dizziness (much decreased and less frequent, thank you) seem to be skewing my perceptions of the world right now.

This is supposed to be about writing, though, and my ROW80 check-in.  Sunday I was still too sick to look at the computer long enough to write a post.  Plus, my brain wasn't doing well with stringing thoughts together let alone writing them down.  So...

I haven't done a lot of writing.  A couple of days worth on the novel.  A little time on Sunday with a notebook writing down an idea for a piece of flash fiction.  And then a newsletter.  And then some of my ROW80 compatriots told me about this thing some people are doing, writing a story a week for a year.  It's called 52 Stories, and it sent a thrill of excitement up my spine.  Seriously.

You see, I started with short stories.  First as a storyteller, making up stories in the lunch line as a small schoolgirl to keep myself and my friends entertained while we waited.  And of course my dolls (yes, Barbie included--I loved Barbie, so there!) had very exciting and elaborate lives.  Barbie's boyfriend was G.I. Joe, and sometimes Ken, too.  And they were spies.  Except when they were vampires.  And they often lived in a large mansion or a castle built out of jigsaw puzzle boxes and hardcover Reader's Digest Condensed Books.  And then there were the elaborate stories I concocted and made the other neighborhood kids reenact with me.  But I digress...

Short stories were where I started.  And I know I can do them while I'm still feeling shaky about being able to finish a novel.  And I really want to finish something.  I want a challenge that I feel will be really challenging (a story a week will do that) but that I know I can do.

So I'm doing this.

I'm changing my goals slightly to accommodate my new love.  Here's the new, improved Round 2 list:

• Write at least 15 minutes each weekday; weekends are optional--this is staying the same, but the writing will be mostly working on short stories now. I will probably continue the discovery writing process for my novel idea, too, because the two kinds of writing are different and compatible.
• Post a story a week--this is new and goes with the 52 Stories.  I'm not sure if I'm going to post the stories here or set up a semi-private blog for them or what.  There's that little, niggling voice that tells me if I publish them on my blog they will be unpublishable elsewhere.  I don't know for sure that this is something I need to consider just now.  What if I just write them for fun and to share with people just so I can start enjoying and improving my craft again?  What if this set of stories isn't for publication but just for fun?
• Participate in the ROW80 Twitter discussions and use bookending techniques there to help me stay on task--I'm still occasionally jumping in on Twitter and still would like to do more.  I'm ditching the bookending.  It just feels like one more thing to do, it doesn't seem to be adding anything to my writing, and it feels like an annoyance with no benefits.
• Read and comment on blogs each check-in, even if I only have time for one or two.--Sticking with this; I didn't do any since last Wednesday because I've been sick, but I'll be back to it now.

There you have it.  My first story is in the works.  I'll let you all know what I decide about where I'm posting (ideas on that are so very welcome!) once I figure it out.  See you later!

Sunday--Sunny and Introspective

With a chance of writing...

It's ROW80 check-in day.  Two weeks in, and I'm feeling pretty good about this round.  I feel like I am learning again the pleasure of playing with words and story ideas and not worrying about finishing by a certain date.  I am learning to enjoy the process, and I think that will make me a happier writer, which will probably help me actually finish a story.

So, the details. 

Writing:  I wrote four times this week.  I may get in a bit of writing tonight still, but I'm recovering from a migraine so I'm pretty tired and may just go to sleep early.  Based on how these first two weeks have gone, I'm going to change my writing goal.  Instead of writing on weekdays with weekends optional, I'm going to set my goal as writing at least five days a week.


Twitter:  I remembered to do the bookending, but I didn't do much chatting and participating this week.    For the coming week, I might set myself some reminders.

Blog reading:  I only read and commented on two blogs this time.  I was really busy with class work and also really didn't use my time well the past few days.

So, not too bad this time, but I'm looking for a more focused week coming up.

Round and Round

It's already time to set goals and make plans for Round 2 of ROW80!  Last time, I was kind of unprepared and over-ambitious.  This time, I think I have a better plan...

Round 2 begins April 2

ROW80 Round 2 Goals:

• Write* at least 15 minutes each weekday; weekends are optional
• Participate in the ROW80 Twitter discussions and use bookending techniques there to help me stay on task
• Read and comment on blogs each check-in, even if I only have time for one or two.

* Writing will be working on exercises from Sarah Domet's 90 Days to Your Novel or other fiction writing. I'm not going to include blogging or working on my coaching homework or other types of writing. 

I want to make this round all about my fiction work.  I don't intend to do the 90 Days to Your Novel work in 90 days.  I plan to take longer because I don't agree with the idea that you  must turn down social engagements and trips and everything else to work on your writing.  Sometimes you need to do that, but not all the time.  And I have things (like my coaching training!) that I can't just set aside, but I want to get back to writing fiction.  So I picked a system that seemed straightforward and that is already broken down into fairly small steps.  I've been so flighty and scatterbrained about my writing for so long that I want to have someone hand me a little step and say, "Do this," and then just do that thing without worrying that I'm not going to know what to do next.

I guess this round is about establishing routines and trying out a system so that I have something to start from to create my own writing system.  I don't know that this system is better than any others.  I don't think it matters.  I think what I need right now is just picking a system and sticking with it to the end, just to show myself that I really can do it.

That's it.  This time around, I'm keeping it really simple.  I do want to make improvements in my health and lifestyle and in my organizing and housecleaning, but those are going to be things of their own and not part of my ROW80 goals even though they will impact my writing.  Last time, having goals in so many categories made me feel scattered and overwhelmed, and I stopped working on anything.  This time, it's just about the writing, and I'm loving the feel of that!

See you Monday for the kickoff.  Meanwhile here's today's American Sentence:

The rains of spring, with lowering skies, call me to sleep just like winter.

Separation Anxiety

Busy, busy!  Not much in the way of journaling, so I intend to make that my focus between now and Sunday.  But since last Sunday, I've written homework and my MuseCraft  (TM) News newsletter, and I've been working on some of the website copy for the Time Travelers' Ball (and I really need to wrap that up and get the website updated in the next two or three days).

That's pretty much it.  My creativity coach training is taking up most of my time and attention, and this is as it should be.  Plus, I'm loving it!  I'm loving the focus on creative processes and the discussions.  I'm so glad I finally managed to get into this class!

I am feeling like there's a separation between my real desire to write and what's going on in my life right now, though, so I will be refocusing my efforts. While I know that I have other things that need my attention right now, I'm not comfortable when I'm not doing any writing.  So, goal between now and next check-in: write in my journal at least twice.  See you Sunday!

Starting Line

Oh sure.  Technically ROW80 started last week.  That doesn't mean I was actually as ready to start as I thought I was.  I had plans.  I had goals.  I just didn't have myself together enough to actually get going.

Today I'm finally starting to feel like I'm in the swing of things, though.  Easing up on the pressure, breaking my goals in to smaller pieces, and generally giving myself a break so I don't keep running into a wall of resistance is working quite nicely.

What I Did So Far This Week:

Since Sunday, I did my PT stretches each day.  Sometimes half-heartedly or as an afterthought, but I did them.  Today was the first day I did my full 10-ish minute exercise routine, and it felt really good!  I could feel my muscles warming up and stretching and loosening.  It's a great feeling.  Why did I wait so long?  Oh yeah.  Wall of resistance. 

I did more work on my outline.  And today I did a little more work and came up with some questions* that really need answers, so I'll be doing some free writing/discovery writing on those during the rest of the week.  And then I am going to very gently sit myself down with my actual story document open and write something.  One sentence.  Maybe a whole paragraph.  Maybe more once I'm there.  Something to get the flow going again.

*The questions:

• Why is Charlie so involved/letting himself get pulled in to this? 
• How do Charlie and Nick know each other?
• Is Nick actually a good guy?  Has he always been, or has he turned over a new leaf to become a good guy?  If he really used to hunt faeries, how and why?  Was he hunting and killing?

 I haven't done anything about making a list of mini areas in the house for cleaning.  I have some weird idea that I need to get it right, whatever that means.  As if I can't just tear a page out of the notebook and write something different if I find out what I originally plan isn't working out.  I do not like this obsession with "right" I have been living with my whole life.  It needs to leave right now!  There's the door, you.  Get out! (Think that will work?  I'll let you know.)  Still, I did identify one mini area that's especially bothersome for me (the area next to my recliner), and that's the one I'll  be working on this weekend.

Things I've Realized This Week: 

• I need to give myself permission to take time off now and then.  I can set the amount of time--a day, two days, a week, whatever I seem to need--and then I need to take it off and leave aside the guilt.
• I really need to learn to give myself credit for writing stuff that isn't actually writing of story.  Discovery writing to get to motivations is really useful.  So is planning out the next couple of scenes, working on the outline, all of those things that keep me engaged with the story but aren't writing the story.  There is no reason to feel guilty when I'm working on those and so haven't done any story writing.
• Because Saturday was a forced day off because I was sick, I've been pressuring myself to "catch up" somehow, and that's just not working out.  The more I pressure myself, the more I resist and don't do anything at all.  Then I feel awful, put more pressure, do even less...vicious circle!  Step away from the pressure.  The only way to be free of the wall of resistance is to step away and let it fall down.

 That's it for now.  See you Sunday.  Happy writing!

A Greater Whole

As I mentioned in yesterday's ROW80 check-in, I want to put into words why I'm including exercise and house cleaning/organizing goals with my writing goals.  The simple answer is that everything is interrelated.  You know, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Just like a jigsaw puzzle is more than just odd shaped pieces once it's put together.

That's the simple answer.  The longer answer is that I have a body.  I'm not just my brain and my creativity and my inspiration.  I have a body, and my creativity needs that vehicle to be in tiptop shape to help us get where we're going.  Chuck Wendig says it perfectly in his post 25 Things Writers Should Stop Doing: "Stop treating your body like a dumpster."  Read the "why" behind that.  It's funny and oh-so-true. 

I struggle with serious energy slumps which come with fuzzy thoughts, inability to focus, aches and pains and all sorts of physical yuckiness.  I need to focus on eating better food (I do all right, but I am a bit sporadic at this).  I need to exercise to help rid my body of those pains and help regulate my energy and build up a reserve.  I need energy and a sharp brain and focus to write, so I need to be taking care of my body.  So, exercising and taking care of my body are writing goals.

What about that house thing?  Well, my house is a mess.  It's beyond a mess.  It's horrible and frustrating and disgusting and embarrassing. It's also distracting.  Piles of papers and random things everywhere.  Stacks of laundry, both dirty and clean.  Messes and dirt and disorganization everywhere with nothing pleasant to rest the eye on.  This keeps my brain skipping from place to place, looking for a nice place to land.  This takes my focus away from writing because if I see what's around me, all I can think about is how awful it is, how ugly everything looks, how I dislike my surroundings, and how I'm desperate to have it different.  That's a lot of though power that could be going into my writing.  Plus, I want and need a pleasant environment to rest and recharge in so I can shore up those energy reserves so I have the fuel for writing.

It's all part of my whole life.  And I need and want and deserve a healthy, energetic, beautiful life to frame my writing with.  So I'm going to find some way to get past the overwhelm and the exhaustion and the aches and pains and make it happen. 

For those who are interested, here's the 10 (ish) minute exercise plan I'm going to be doing for a few weeks to help my muscles loosen up and get ready for the next stage. 

Warm-up: 3-5 minutes of full body stretches and bends with deep breathing, marching in place, arm swings with side steps, and general movement to get things moving.

Part 1:  Physical therapy stretches for the leg muscles to help strengthen the injured muscles and keep them from getting re-injured.  About 3 minutes.

Part 2:  Strength work.  10 reps of each of these:

• Wall push-ups
• Side bends
• Waist twists
• Standing crunches
• Standing leg lifts: front, side, back
• Calf-raises

Part 3: Repeat PT stretches with added stretches for the upper body

A very short, simple program, but it has really helped in the past to start easing my body into exercising without overdoing things and causing problems.  This time, though, I'm not going to put this on a schedule.  I will stick with the program until I feel ready to add things in; I'm not going to follow anyone else's ideas about how soon I should be adding time, adding weights, anything like that.  My body works on its own schedule, and this time I'm going to listen!

Reset

It's time for the ROW80 check-in.  And I don't have enough to report.

No, that's not true.  I just don't have the things to report that I wanted to have today.  All right, then, I'll just report what I've done and put aside what I hoped I would do.

The most important thing is that I've realized I need a bit of a change.  A relatively minor adjustment, but I think it's going to make quite a difference in what I get done this round.  But I'll talk about that in a moment.

What I've done:

• Had a pretty major breakthrough on why my main character is so intent on searching for the faeries.  This why is going to be important to a later part in the story, too, and it's helping a lot of the motivations for actions make sense.  I really needed this clarity!
• Got my novel and synopses moved over to Scrivener and finished the tutorial so I can actually make good use of the program.
• Worked on a knitting project while watching TV with the boyfriend and cats and letting myself just relax without trying to do all sorts of things like checking e-mail, writing blog posts or being "productive" while watching.
• Cleaned/organized one section of my closet.

What I haven't done:

• Exercise.  Not even once.  
• Finished my house areas list for cleaning.
• Written anything new on my story.

Back to that change I mentioned.  I realized that I haven't broken my goals down into small enough chunks.  I overwhelmed myself, even though I thought I had done a good job of being specific and small.  The good news here is that this is easy to fix.  This is actually more of a honing of the goals I've set rather than a real change, because I still think the goals are reachable.

My new, smaller goals:

• Engage with/work on my novel at least 15 minutes each week day.  Weekends are optional and will depend on what I feel like doing--I need to make a point to have leisure time for recharging.
• Exercise just 10 minutes at least four times each week--I need to make an actual plan of what exercise I'm going to do so I don't have to try to decide what to do when it's time to exercise.
• Clean in one mini area for 10 minutes at least twice a week--I believe the short time limit along with the mini areas will help make the cleaning/organizing less stressful and overwhelming

That's the new plan.  I like it, and it doesn't make me feel stressed out about whether or not I can do it.  I need to build up a level of confidence and accomplishment, and that's going to get done better and more easily with this tiny little steps.  

I also have a couple of one time goals for this week.  I am going to write about why I'm including exercise and cleaning/organizing in my writing goals.  I'm also going to post the exercise plan I'm going to use to ease me back into regular workouts.  I'll probably throw that all into one post tomorrow, though.  For now, I think I'm on a better path, and I'm feeling happy with what I've come up.  That seems like a good place to wrap up for the night.

Bumps in the Road

It's the beginning of the year, so of course I really wanted my first ROW80 check-in to be stellar.  At least it's happening.  Stellar?  Maybe next time.  It's moving along at least, even if it's slower than I thought it would be.

There's nothing really awful to report.  I just thought I'd have more done on my synopsis/outline by now, but I experienced some technical difficulties.  I realized I need to move my work from the journaling software I've been using to an actual writing program.  The journal software is wonderful; I love how easy it is to create categories and sub-categories and new sections.  However, it doesn't let me compile my work into a single document, and when it comes time for revisions that's going to be significant.

Last year I had tried out the Windows beta of Scrivener, and it has a lot of similarities to my journaling software so I decided to go ahead and use my NaNoWriMo winner reward and buy a copy.  And that's where the difficulties began.  I don't know if it's because I'm running it from my flash drive or because I never read the manual so I'm doing something wrong, but my registration wouldn't go through properly.  I decided to uninstall and start over, but the uninstall failed.  I had to go through my hard drive and flash drive and find ever last damned Scrivener file and delete them manually.  And there were several beta upgrades in there.  And each one of those created new files.  Ugh. 

It's done now, but I had thought I would have the synopsis of what I've written so far complete and moved over into Scrivener by today.  Still, I did know that all those files scattered around were a mess and needed to be cleaned up.  That's all set now, and I'm even going through the tutorial to make sure I am using the program to its full advantage, so this extra time it's taking to get started is probably going to be good for me in the long run. 

Now for the other stuff.  I have started a notebook for my house cleaning/organizing.  The list of mini areas still needs to be completed, but it has been started.  I've figured out what I'm going to do for exercise for the first few weeks to get myself back into the groove with that, but I haven't actually done anything yet.  I really need to make a dedicated space for my workout gear--clothes, weights, books and videos, etc.--so I don't have to go looking for things every time I want to exercise.  I am planning my recreational time for tonight--knitting while catching up on some TV shows with kitties and boyfriend.

My plan for now through Sunday: finish getting Scrivener and my synopsis/outline set up.  Not sure if I will finish the outline by then, but I will have it done by next Wednesday.  I will exercise at least twice between now and Sunday (yes, I could do more, but I'm trying to avoid that overwhelm thing).  I will finish the list of mini areas for house cleaning.  That's probably enough.  Slow and steady, right?  Right!

Ding Ding Ding!

That's the starting bell!

Today is the start of Round 1 of ROW80 for 2012, and I am excited!  And ready! I have goals.  I have plans.  Most importantly of all, I have a community.  I love knowing there are other writers working by my side, striving for their goals as I reach for mine.  I love knowing that we are all looking out for one another.  Here's to a great round, you guys!

My goals for this round:

Goals for writing:

• Finish synopsis/outline
• Finish first draft
• Do a first pass revision 
• Line up first reader(s) and get book to them

I'm a little uncertain about what happens after that last bit.  What do I do while I'm waiting for my book to come back from my readers?  Do I just do writing practice to hone my general writing skills? I'll need to figure that out.  I'm also leaving myself flexible on those last two as I'm not entirely sure there will be that much time this round.  Those may go into Round 2, but I'll decide that later. 

Goals for everything else:

• Exercise for at least 10 minutes 4 days a week
• Create a list of mini areas in the house to clean
• Clean at least one mini area each week
• Create a weekly maintenance plan to keep the house tidy/keep the cleaned sections from backsliding
• At least once a week do something for fun/relaxation/entertainment--read some fiction; put on a movie or tv show and knit or embroider; go on a photo walk; go to a movie; meet a friend for lunch/dinner/coffee; go to knit night; work in my art journal, and so on

I want to add a billion things!  I'm not going to.  Little goals, little steps, no overwhelm.  If I'm not overwhelmed, I won't quit.  Or at least I'll have a better chance of sticking with it. So this will do.  It may actually be too much, but this was the minimum that I could make myself pare things down to.

Kait at ROW80 talks about your test mile in the goal setting post linked above. It's the amount of writing (or running or exercise or whatever) you do to test whether or not you're going to go further that day or skip it until tomorrow.  I'm going to set my test mile at 500 words.  I can do 500 words pretty easily even if I'm stressed or sick or ultra busy, but it shouldn't be too short to keep me from finding out if I can hit my stride that day and keep going.

This is getting awfully long, isn't it?  I'll wrap up with this week's plans to help me reach my goal.  I'm not going to break it down by writing and everything else; I'm just clumping it all together the way life is.

My plans for this week:

• Finish synopsis/outline
• Write my house areas list
• Get exercise videos moved onto the front room computer
• Get exercise clothes (don't forget the socks!) all into one place
• Do something for fun

That's it.  See you Wednesday for the mid-week check-in.  Happy New Year and happy writing!

Sunday

I'm feeling a little dull today, so "Sunday" is the best I can do just now for a title.  I've been sitting here poking at it for way too long, and I should just write a check-in and move on.

As dull as tarnished silver

So, about that ROW80 check-in.  I did some writing this week, so that's really good.  Usually by this point in the post-NaNo scheme of things I've stalled out.  This week, I still wrote on my story.  But I also had to admit something to myself. 

I have read and studied lots about novel planning, outlining, writing in general.  I have never actually gone all the way through any of the systems.  I always decide at the last minute that I really need to get on that planning for NaNo, so then I skim my way through some plotting book or an article or two, and then I do the bare bones minimum before I run out of time. 

Why is this especially important right now?  Because while I was doing NaNo this year I was making a point to examine my writing style.  And I found that the days my writing really flew, the words flowing fast and the phrases coming easily, were the days when I had a good plan for the scene at hand.  The times when all I had was a vague notion--"J goes to T's family home with him"--were slow and clunky. They were much harder to write and really not terribly fun.

I never planned out every single detail of a scene, but the ones that went well had notes about things that I wanted to have happen in them and a general order of what would happen when.  So clearly I need to spend more time on my planning because that's what works for me.

Add to all of this the book I'm reading, K.M. Weiland's Outlining Your Novel: Map Your Way to Success. She recommends spending a couple of months really working on the outline before you write.  And I can see the sense of this. I clearly do better work when I have a plan.  So what's the problem?

I'm not able or willing to let go of actually working on the writing.  I said I would do 65,000 words by December 22.  I planned to have the first draft finished by the end of the month.  If I turn to just planning now, I won't reach those goals.  Also, I'm worried about stopping the writing.  What if I work on the planning then can't get back into the writing?  What if stopping to work on planning stops me completely?

I'm thinking of compromising, doing some writing, then a little planning, then more writing, and so on.  But is this my best choice?  I don't know.  I also know that I'm very tired today and getting more tired by the moment, so I may need to save this decision for tomorrow. For now, I'm going to wrap this up, hope it isn't too incoherent, and drag myself to bed.

August!

I love August.  I may have mentioned this before--I don't remember.  But I really love August.  August through October is my favorite time of year, and for me it always stirs up desires to start something new.

Of course, I just started something new mid-July.  I decided to go forward on that whispered wish to lose weight, and I joined SparkPeople (which I know I mentioned in my last post). And I'm loving it!  This is an amazing site.  If you have fitness goals, check it out.  It's even free!

Anyhow, I set some goals for myself for August.  Not just fitness goals but a mix of self-care goals.  And I did a quick art journal page about it and wanted to put it up here where I can keep coming back to it:

Happy August everyone!

Reverb 10 December 13--Action

Action: When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

This one seems a lot more about looking forward to next year rather than wrapping up this year.  Still, it matches perfectly with where my head is right now.

My next step is to make a list of all the things I would like to accomplish and then prioritize them or pick the ones that I want to focus on.  I have these ideas roaming around in my head, but if I look closely I can see that there are too many to work on at once. So I need to pick the ones that I will do starting now and let the others wait in the wings for when there's room for them.

The things I want to do in the coming year:

• Get stronger, healthier, fitter, more comfortable and happier in my body
• Finish a novel and start submitting it
• Have my house clean, beautiful, welcoming--a sanctuary I love coming home to every day

There we go, there's step one.  These are the three things I'm going to be focusing on.  And they're big, so it's a lot even though I've pared down the list.  But I believe these can coexist and all get the time and attention they'll need to make them happen.

Birthday Intentions

Friday marked another year on this Earth for me.  I love my birthday, so I was thrilled to find yet another way to mark it.  Jennifer Blanchard offered two reasons to set new writing goals on your birthday over at Procrastinating Writers, and I'm taking her advice.  I'm a couple of days late--I was visiting my family last week--but I think it's still well within my traditional birthday week. (Yes, birthday week. Really, I love my birthday.)

This year:

• I will not only write 50K for NaNoWriMo, I will actually finish the story (rough draft finished by December 31, 2010)
• I will finish the first draft of Ordinary Girl, then revise and submit it
• I will save the money to attend Willamette Writers' Conference again

Those are the writing goals.  I have a few others, too:

• Create a regular exercise habit
• Offer two online workshops
• Lead a writing retreat
• Lead a soul tribe retreat

Goals, Intentions, and Perseverance

This week over at MuseCraft I took a look at my 2010 intentions to see where I stand and find out what might need some tweaking.  I thought some of you might find this useful, so here's a link: Revisit, Revamp, Restart!

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." ~Thomas A. Edison  It's really all about keeping on, trying one more thing, not giving up. I'm not giving up!  How about you?

Procrastination, Goals, and Forgetting

I have a procrastination problem.  I think I may have mentioned it before.  Twelve or a thousand times or so.  Lately, I am actively working on getting around this issue (I even wrote an article on it for the most recent issue of MuseCraft News**), and one of the things I've been doing is looking at exactly how I procrastinate.

I do a few things when I'm procrastinating.  First on the list is mindless, repetitive activities like solitaire or computer games.  My next most popular procrastination technique is surfing the internet--hopping from blog to blog, researching one thing and then the next that catches my eye, or just checking e-mail and Facebook over and over.  Really it's anything that will warp time a bit and make a few hours go by in what seems like only minutes.  But coupled with whatever I'm using to help me procrastinate is always one thing: forgetting.

The forgetting started in childhood.  I don't know if originally it was a story I made up to excuse myself from doing things I didn't want to do.  By the time I can remember saying, "I forgot" as an explanation for why something didn't get done, it was true.  I actually forget to do things that I am supposed to do or mean to do or even things that I want to do (and that last one is possibly the biggest problem of them all).  I can think of something, even intend to write it down so I will do it, and by the time I sit down at my desk, I've forgotten all about it. 

Is this a defense mechanism?  I don't know that, either.  I've come to believe that the whys of it all are not really that important.  The really important thing here is finding ways around my procrastination. Figuring out why all of this happens could take years.  Working out how to sidestep the problem shouldn't take nearly as long.

I started thinking of ways to use things I enjoy to help me overcome my procrastination habit.  What do I enjoy?  Office and school supplies--notebooks, pens, markers, folders.  Gadgets--computer programs, hand held electronics, etc.  Lists.

Next I worked on figuring out what helped during the times when I've been really productive and procrastinated less: NaNoWriMo; school; writing groups.  The major thing here is public deadlines--personal deadlines no one else knows about don't seem to be useful. 

This week I'm trying two things to help--I'll report on them after I've had a chance to work with them a bit.  I'm trying out the Annual Strategic Planner and Monthly Action Planner from Productive Flourishing coupled with a daily, short list written in my cool new bright green Day Runner LifeTracker (TM).

The second is Twitter.  No, really.  I know, it seems like it would help me procrastinate, right?  And it can do that.  But I think it can also help me break out of that rut. I'm using a few hashtags (#) to make some of my daily goals public.  Right now I'm using #writegoals and #amwriting; I may add others as I go along.  While not everything I want to do is writing related, a lot of it can be framed in a writing context (for example, "write tutorial for workshop).   For now I don't know any of the people participating in these groups, but as I get to know them, I think knowing people are seeing my goals and paying attention will help me get moving.

So that's where the anti-procrastination project is right now.  I hope I'll have some good results to report soon.  If you're wrestling with this, too, I'd love to hear what you're doing to tame it and how it's going for you.  Leave a comment or drop me a note.
 
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Dreaming and Doing

Today I ran across Andrea Schroeder's website, ABCcreativity.  I am joining in on her "Creative Dreams Come True" free e-course.  Although nothing says I have to go back to the start in January, I am doing at least some of the older exercises.  The first exercise is to make a list of 100 things you wish for.  I don't know what to write!  I've made it to twenty--you can see my list in the "Pages" section to the right under "100 Dreams."

Today I'm feeling a little dreamless.  I'm tired and kind of achy, I am working on a homework assignment I wanted to have done on Sunday but I can't figure out what I want to say, and I still need to capture an idea for this week's art experiment for MuseCraft.  So twenty things is probably a decent sized list.  I did notice as I went along I started getting more specific; my first wishes are really broad.  Now I will need to look closer at my wishes and see how some of them might break down into smaller, more precise wishes.


Meanwhile, I am going to go cruise the web for an experiment for the week.  I'm going to do some stretching and drink some water and maybe put my head down for a few minutes to see if I can perk up.  And then I'm going to dinner with an old friend who is passing through town for work.  And I'm *not* going to worry about not having a photo to go with this post!

Photo Contemplations

Last year, sometime in the autumn, I discovered photowalks.  I've been quite captivated but also quite intimidated.  Physically, my capacity for walking is very low, so I know I'm not up to joining a bigger photowalk.  But I've also been out of practice with my photography for years.  Oh sure, I take pictures all the time. But I haven't really practiced photography in ages, and I've never really learned my digital camera.  I mostly just fiddle with buttons and settings until I get pictures that seem to work out.  Sometimes, they don't work out as well as I'd like, and I always tell myself I need to actually learn the camera.  But it hasn't happened yet.  So, I'm not feeling confident about my photography skills.  Add all of that together and it means that for the past few months I've been daydreaming about photowalks but haven't even gone out to do a short one around my own block.

So why am I writing about nothing?  I haven't actually gone out taking photos, so really I am writing about nothing.  I'm doing it because I think that going public with my intention might just get me to do it already! As a matter of fact, I have something of a small plan in place for Doing It Already.  Tomorrow, I have to take my car to get new brakes. While the car is in the shop, I am going to go somewhere with my camera.  Where?  Not sure. I will probably take the bus down to St. Johns, have a bit of lunch, and wander with the camera.  Look here next week for a post with pictures!  And try not to faint from the excitement...

New Year, New Post

A few days past the start of the new year, but I think that's all right. After all, I haven't set myself any resolutions. I do have plans and goals and desires. But no resolutions. Why? Because resolutions are generally so targeted, so specific, that they're too easy to fall away from. And then if you stray just a little bit (oh no, I was going to write every weekday, and I missed one!), it's way too easy to just give up, set the resolution aside to start again "tomorrow" or "later," "next week" or "next month" or "next year," and fall back into the old patterns you were trying to step out of.

Instead of a resolution, or multiple resolutions, I'm doing something different. I've been seeing an intriguing idea around the internet--people are picking a word as their guide word for the year. One of my friends chose "move" for this year. I like this idea quite a lot, but I was still feeling a little restricted by having to choose just one word. I didn't feel that I could fit all the things I want to focus on under the umbrella of one word, so I chose three.

My words for 2010:

Create

Thrive

Explore

Yeah, I think that should about cover it. All of it.

Create--my new business, stories, art journal pages, embroidery pieces, anything else I feel compelled to make during the year all fits under this. Creating a new way of life can fit here, too.

Thrive--get healthy, exercise, eat well, organize my house, clean the house, make a living space I feel happy in.

Explore--new places, spirituality, new ideas, new books.

That's what I'm looking for in my new year. I'm helping myself keep my focus by creating Vision Cards as discussed by Jamie Ridler. I'm working on them now; when I'm finished, I'll post some pictures. Meanwhile, what are you planning to bring into your life this year?

Groups and conferences and things to aim for

I have started this post several times over the past week, but my excitement about my new writers’ group keeps getting in the way! I don’t really know what I want to say about it except, “I’m so excited!” Somehow, that doesn’t seem like quite enough.

I feel as if having a regular group to meet with in person is really going to be a huge boost to my writing. I’m thrilled that, after several years of wanting this and a couple of failed attempts to form a group, there is finally a group of us who want to do this. Hurray!

So, what happened at the first meeting? There were five of us, with the possibility that two other people will be joining us at our next meeting. We talked about what we all want to do with our writing. We talked about what stage in our writing careers we’re in right now. And possibly the most exciting thing to me—we set goals of what we want to accomplish by the next meeting! Pledging to do something by a certain date, and knowing that people are going to expect a report from me, is a great way for me to make sure I don’t put off my writing for other, less important things. I really work best under external deadlines.

That said, I haven’t done much in the past week—the next meeting is a bit too far away for me to be feeling the pressure yet, plus I’m trying to get things ready for this weekend. I am going to the Willamette Writers’ Conference here in Portland this weekend. I’m really excited about this, too. I am thrilled at the chance to go hang out for three days with other writers, socialize, network, take some workshops…I think this is going to be a really great conference. The course list is huge and has so many good things on it I won’t actually be able to fit them all in.

But never fear (I say this mostly to myself). I am starting to feel the deadline coming up, and the story is stirring itself and wanting some attention. As a matter of fact, I have already reworked my opening scene. The new idea is much better, and I think the finished scene is going to be good. So the writers’ group is already working its magic on me.

Next week, expect a report on the conference as well as a report on writing progress! For now, I’m off to check on pen refills…

Let me count the days

The Willamette Writers’ Conference is in 91 days! The pitching workshop is in 85 days (the weekend before the conference), but the actual opportunity to pitch a book to an agent is at the conference, so 91 days. This means I have somewhere in that time frame—right around three months—to finish Blood of the Mist and get it ready to show to someone in case there’s interest.

I don’t quite exactly know what happens if you pitch a book and the agent likes it. I think that you need to have a full draft ready to give to them. I think it’s supposed to be a finished, polished draft. Gulp.

Can I get a finished, polished draft ready in three months? I don’t actually know. I think I can. I think it can be done. I think I’m turning into The Little Engine that Could. That’s all right. At least he got things done, right?

Seriously, I need a game plan. One that doesn’t involve panicking and hyperventilating. So what’s my plan? Oh yeah. I still have to make one.

Here goes the plan, then. Tonight I will finish reading the last pages of BoTM to get me back into the flow of the story. Over the weekend, I will spend time writing a bullet point outline of what we have going on so far in the story and what we need to reach the finish line (and who is this “we” and where are the other parties and why aren’t they doing any of the work?!). Then next week, during Book-in-a-Week, I will write. I set my goal for 20 pages for this month, but I would really like to do more. At least 30 pages, and then the same the following week and the week after. At that rate, I should be finished with the first draft by the end of May.

In June, I will transcribe all of the handwritten pages onto the computer. This process for me always involves editing as I go, so I will end up with an edited/revised draft just by typing the book in. This is good. It sort of feels like an added bonus! So, second draft complete by June 30. Good.

July. (I am actually hoping the transcribing/editing won’t take all of June, but I’m going to give myself that timeframe anyhow.) In July, I will print out the book (yikes that’s a lot of pages!) and do a read-through with pen in hand (this is where my training as an English/Literature major and an English teacher really pays off!). I will do this read-through from July 1-10. Then I will enter my corrections into the computer and reprint the pages with corrections on them (oh please don’t let it be all of them!). Then from July 11-20 I will do another read-through and mark any further changes. And then again with the making changes in the computer. And then I hope I’ll be finished and have a little bit of time to let it sit so I am not thoroughly sick of it by the time the conference rolls around. I want to be able to speak about it with some enthusiasm!

I think this should work. This is how I revise short stories. I think revisions on a novel should work about the same except for taking longer because of the length. I’m also going to reread Holly Lisle’s article "How to Revise a Novel" and incorporate at least some of her ideas into my revision process.

I will keep up with my blogging here and at Mythic Writers. My posts may be a bit scanty now and then. They may be all about the rewriting process, at least some of the time. But I will be here. And next week, I’ll even be back on my normal schedule! See you Tuesday!