Goals, Intentions, and Perseverance

This week over at MuseCraft I took a look at my 2010 intentions to see where I stand and find out what might need some tweaking.  I thought some of you might find this useful, so here's a link: Revisit, Revamp, Restart!

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." ~Thomas A. Edison  It's really all about keeping on, trying one more thing, not giving up. I'm not giving up!  How about you?

Wishcasting Wednesday--Nourishing Yourself

"How do you wish to nourish yourself?"  As always, an excellent Wishcasting Wednesday question to ponder and play with.

This is a good question, because I want to talk about food.  I've been thinking about it a lot lately, what food I eat, what food I want to eat.  And now is as good a time as any to talk about it. (I know there are other types of nourishment.  I want to talk about food.)

We've been reorganizing our kitchen, cleaning, storing away things we don't really use much, that sort of thing. And now, with more space and easier access to my cooking tools, I am thinking about how and what we eat. Not dieting, not right now at least.  I lost 60 lbs. in 2007, and then a recurrent injury was aggravated by the exercise I was doing, and now I'm spending most of my time working on being able to walk again without pain.  But that's a different story.  This one is about food.

I want to eat more food prepared at home or at restaurants that use really high quality ingredients. For me, high quality means fresh, local if possible, sustainable and humane methods of growing, gathering, processing. I want to present my food attractively and make it appealing and pretty even if I'm eating alone.  I want to enjoy the taste and look of my food.  I don't want to eat things I "should" eat because that's what various nutritional experts say to do.  I want to enjoy sweets, but I want to move away from the real junk food, checkout line candy bars and things and enjoy either homemade treats or really good store bought items like good bakery cupcakes.  I want to get in touch with the sensual, beautiful side of nourishing myself and make sure that my food feeds my need for beautiful things as well as feeding my body.

It's quite a list, but I like it, and that's what I'm going to aim for.

All Ya Gotta Do Is Ask

I have a strong belief in the power of focusing energy on something to make it happen.  It's why I participate in Wishcasting Wednesday.  I believe the collective energy focused on our wishes can help them become reality.  But on the same day?!

Yesterday, I was feeling very down about things.  I was in a lot of pain, and with no insurance to pay for medical visits, I was feeling really out of luck.  And then we went to dinner for a friend's birthday, and I met a massage therapist (J).

We were all joking around, and he was pretending to try to get on M's (my boyfriend) good side so he could eat his food.  He gave me a playful two minute shoulder massage to get me on his side so I would help him.  And a knot I've had continuing problems with in my neck for several years disappeared.  The chiropractor didn't manage that after several visits!

So, I talked to J a bit about my chronic pain issues, specifically the foot/ankle/leg issues that are causing the most trouble.  And he says he thinks he can help.  He's definitely willing to try.  And we're going to do a barter, so no insurance or money worries. Wow!

On top of that, I had a tip about getting acupuncture (for the energy issues) at a lower cost, and it looks like I can probably use the health savings plan I *do* have to pay for it.

I am so excited!  I can't believe I have to sit here at this desk and do my work.  I want to run around and celebrate! I am imagining my life that is to come--and soon now, maybe!  I am imagining feeling rested and pain free.  Having energy. I am imagining going home after work and going for walks.  I'm imagining weekends walking around downtown and then going home and having energy to go out to dinner or do some painting or both!  I'm imagining walking to the top of Multnomah Falls.  I am imagining a life!

And look--to help me celebrate, I found this confetti fish on stock.xchng (where I get many of my cool pics): 

Time and Creativity

Time.  I never give myself enough.  I procrastinate and wait until the last minutes to do a project, so then I have to use quick techniques.  I never give myself the time and space I need to learn and use the techniques I really want to know, to create the art I really want to make.  Why?

This is something I need to look at closely.  More than that, I need to *do* something about it.  My relationship with time, the way I don't use it, the way I not only avoid things I want to do but also things I *do* want to do.  Again, why?  I'm not sure. But I am very clear right now that it needs to be addressed deeply and fully.  So, here I am, getting it started.

Nourishment

So after posting my Wishcasting response earlier today, it wouldn't get out of my head.  Soon after writing it, I found myself with a list building up inside me, so I wrote it down.  I was going to wait to post it here, do more writing and thinking, make it "better" or "more complete" or something like that.  But I'm not waiting!  I'm getting it down and putting it out there as is, and if I need to add to it or change things later, I'll do that when it comes up.

So, as I thought about nourishing my real self both body and heart and soul, I asked myself, "what do I need?" Here it is:

• I need walks in the country or in nature
• I need to visit the beach
• I need drives in the country
• I need new and interesting things regularly
• I need good, real food
• I need love and hugs
• I need a clean, pleasant-to-be-in house
• I need prayer and ritual and spirit
• I need to find a way to get rid of this pain in my foot

I notice that I'm having a weepy response to certain things lately.  I just read the line "music that nourishes your soul" and found myself a little teary.  I need to pay attention to what is bringing on this reaction.  These are the things I need to address.

Wishcasting Wednesday, June 16

This week, Jamie Ridler once again has a fabulous, right-on-target question for Wishcasting Wednesday. "What do you wish to nourish?" she asks.  I read that this morning, and I teared up a little.  What?  Really?  Hmmm... must be something in there that I need.  I just didn't know what.

So I've gone about my day, doing other things, but always with this question in the back of my mind.  What do I wish to nourish?  I can feel--rather intensely--that there's something important here, but I'm having the hardest time with it.  I can't quite seem to get a grasp on it.  Something in me is desperate for nourishment, and I can't quite figure out what it is.

My first response was "my heart." But that's not enough.  Not deep enough, not detailed enough, not real enough. What do I mean by that?  I'm not sure.  I need to nourish my heart and my sensual/sensory self.  I need to nourish the part of me that dreams and visions and watches clouds and stars and the moon.


My creative self I could call her.  But that's also not a full enough answer.  That's not just my creative self who revels in the senses and dreams under the sky.  That's my real self.  That's all of me, and she's buried somewhere, stuck in the sand, only fingers and toes and maybe a hand breaking free and waving at the world so we know she's still there.

I need to nourish me.

Don't Box Me In!

I'm thinking about boxes.  Being in boxes.  Thinking outside the box.  I'm doing an art experiment at MuseCraft to help me reach outside some of my personal boxes.  I think I want to write about stretching outside my limits a little more than the scope of the experiment will allow, so I'm going to start a series of posts over here.

Anyone else feeling like they want to break out of their boxes?  I'd love to get a conversation about it started.

Of course, boxes aren't all bad.  Presents come in boxes, after all.  But you have to open the box and take what's inside out before you can really enjoy it.  Staying inside the box does not lead to doing great things or having wonderful adventures.  So, the boxes have to go!  Or they at least have to be opened up.

Of course, I'm making all of this up as I go along, thinking of what I want to do and what I want to say with no real plan in mind just yet.  This is stuff that has to do with exploring and thriving and living and adventures and all the things I am working to bring into my life.  This is something I feel sure I need to be working on.  But where to start?

I'm going to start with some questions:

• What boxes have I put myself in?
• What do I want to do but never actually try?
• Why don't I try the things I want to do?

 I'm going to make those questions the topic of my next few blog posts.  I don't want this one to turn into a novel, and I want to give this topic some time and consideration.  So for now, I'll leave this as is, and I'll find out what starts happening when I climb up and start peeking over the top of this box.

Explorations in Thriving

As I mentioned last week, I'm about to start an ongoing project here.  It's about caring deeply for my self and my Muse and my creative dreams.  This is going to involve taking care of my physical self, my emotional self, my spiritual self.  And, of course, my creative self.

It's also going to be about bento, because bento really helped me move from thinking about how I could make my life easier and smooth my creative path to actually getting started.  I've only been doing it for a week, although I started learning about it around six months ago due to a wonderful friend who is further along the bento path.

That's all I have to say for now.  Just a heads up on what I'm starting here.  If you want to follow along with all the posts at any time, I'll be using the label "thrive" for this.

Until the next post, here's a photo of today's lunch.  My first bento photo!  I'll try to keep it down to one or two a week, but it's awfully fun and exciting, so I make no promises.