Wishcasting Wednesday--New Year Wish

It's the last Wishcasting Wednesday of the year, and Jamie asks us, "What do you wish for the New Year?"

 

As always, I'm a little sad and a little excited that this year is ending.  And, as always, I can't help looking forward, making plans, thinking about what I want to do differently, what I want to have in my life, how I want things to be this time next year.

What do I wish for the new year?  That I find the inner resources to both see what I really need to do for myself throughout the year and to do those things to take care of myself and let myself soar.

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I'm going to go ahead and put today's Reverb 10 here because it really fits with Wishcasting.

Defining Moment Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year. (Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)

Wishcasting Wednesday has tremendously affected my life this year.  I've learned to regularly look inside myself and find out what I think and feel and need.  I've learned to actually look closely at those things and express them rather than letting them slip by half-noticed and unformed.  And I've met a wonderful community of wishers who boost each other up, encourage each other, and help each other's wishes soar.

Back from the Holidays and Some Reverb 10

What a weekend!  Very busy, but we kept things relaxed enough that there was no overwhelm.  Still, lots of wrapping presents, cooking, traveling, visiting.  I'm looking forward to the coming long weekend to just lounge.

'Til then, here's a bit of Reverb 10 (I've skipped some that I don't really have an answer for; no sense babbling on inanely just to have something to say). 

The year, a bit worn but full of character, is nearly at an end now...

December 23: New Name Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why? (Author: Becca Wilcott) 

Ariane Curyll, Ari for short.  This is a name I use sometimes, especially online, because there are usually other Kims hanging around.  It's a bad Welsh translation of "silver hawk."  I didn't know the proper grammatical sequencing when I made it up.  Silver is for the moon, because I've always loved to watch the moon and mark her phases.  Hawk is for my spirit guide, because many years ago a hawk followed me around for a couple of days until someone said, "Maybe it's your totem."  I started researching what that might mean, realized she was right, and ever since then hawks seem to be everywhere I go.  So it only seemed fitting that they would be part of my pseudonym.

December 26: Soul Food What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul? (Author: Elise Marie Collins)

Ooh, this is easy.  We ate Argentinian food at one of the local food carts--arepas so crispy and light and slightly sweet, they were like a dream.  Black beans and rice with a hint of brown sugar, so perfect with the arepas and paprika chicken.  Loved this food so much, when we went home I spent days researching recipes to make my own arepas and rice and beans.  Still need to perfect those arepas, although I just don't know if I'll ever get them as perfect as the food cart chef makes them.

December 27: Ordinary Joy Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year? (Author: Brené Brown)

Oh, I have lots of these.  My cats bring me huge smiles and giggles and great, big bundles of joy every day.  I never get tired of watching their silly antics, talking with them and having them answer me, just being with them and watching how cute they are when they sleep.

December 28: Achieve What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. (Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

Just one?  I don't know if there's one that really sits at the top of the list. No, that's not true.  It's just that I feel that the one that's at the top of the list shouldn't be the main priority.  I feel like getting my coaching business up and running should be in first place, and it's up there on the list, but... I want to finish writing a novel all the way through to a final draft (which, by default, includes finally finishing a first draft!).  I imagine that I will feel accomplished.  I will feel as if I've finally broken past this wall of "I never finish a novel" that I've been stuck behind for so many years.  I think I will feel confident, more sure of myself, like a real writer who can sit down at the computer and do it again.


I'm going to save the brainstorming for my journal because I want something to carry around with me and look at when I'm feeling like it's not going to happen.

Wishcasting Wednesday--Winter Wish

I'll put my Reverb 10 response at the end here, just in case you were wondering.

But first, Wishcasting Wednesday.  This week, Jamie asks, "What is your winter wish?"

I wish I had time to write a poem!  That's not my actual wish, but reading this I have misty visions in my head of swirling snowfall, candles, white drifts crunching underfoot, the whole world hushed as the snow swaddles everything in its insulating layers.

I don't quite have time for a poem, though.  So on to wishing.  I wish for peaceful, quiet times to sit wrapped in cozy blankets with a book and candles lit nearby, a cup of tea at hand and sleeping cats to keep me warm.  I wish for regular times of rest and rejuvenation like this and not only when I'm in desperate need and force it to happen.  That is my winter wish.

Reverb 10: How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author: Tara Hunt)

The only traveling I did this year was six days back home to Chicago.  We went by plane, which is normal and sensible.  But someday I'd like to have more time for a trip so we could go by train and see the land we're passing through.

Next year, I want to travel more on weekends.  We used to do more weekend outings, but full time jobs, health issues, day-to-day life have made us tired and lethargic, and we don't plan those trips any more. (There were some car troubles in there, too, which didn't help at all.) But this coming year, I want trips to the coast even if only for the day. I want weekends away just for fun and not only when we're going to an SCA event. 

Reverb 10 December 21--Future Self

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)

In both cases, I would tell myself the same thing--don't give up!  Keep moving forward. The only way to fail is if you just stop.

I'd love to be able to tell my ten-years-younger self not to stop so frequently or for so long, not to give in to those long bouts of hopelessness and despair and lethargy.  I wish she knew how much she was actually accomplishing when she thought nothing good was happening in her life.  I wish she knew that if she didn't stop each activity after barely dipping her toes in, she could be amazing and powerful and accomplish incredible things.  I hope I'm listening to myself right now.

Reverb 10 December 20--Beyond Avoidance

Beyond Avoidance What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

Ha!  Are they kidding?  Just check my posts under "procrastination."  Maybe  "fears" and "overcoming fears," too.  This avoidance thing is where I excel!

What I've avoided this year, often because of being tired, distracted, disorganized and generally unsure of myself:

• Writing a book
• Cleaning my house
• Creating and offering online workshops
• Writing an e-book course
• Finishing Kelly Rae Roberts' "Flying Lessons" course
• Losing weight
• Starting an exercise program

I'm just going to stop there.  It's depressing.  It's a lifelong problem I am working to overcome.  Yes, I intend to do many of these things in the coming weeks, months, year.

One thing I will make note of--I think I've mentioned this before: I believe all of my incompletes all track back to an inner lack of feeling secure, nurtured and confident. So a lot of my focus is going to be on learning to care for myself, creating the support I need to accomplish my goals, and boosting my belief in myself and my self-confidence.  I'll keep you posted on how it's going.

Reverb 10 December 19--Healing

Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leonie Allan)

All I can think of is "Sexual Healing."  And I don't even like that song.  And it has nothing to do with anything that happened to me this year.  I fear my answer to this prompt is either nonexistent or nonsensical.  Or maybe both.

What healed me?  I don't know.  I don't feel healed. As a matter of fact, over the past couple of months I've really been overwhelmed by the comprehension of how much of me needs to be healed.  My physical self desperately needs to be healed--of the pain in my foot and ankles and various random places, the headaches, the lethargy, the stomach problems.  My heart and soul need to be healed, they need to be nurtured (and so does my physical self, and these are directly related, oh yes they are), they need a welcoming place to live and thrive, they need support and love to be brave enough to fly.  I need a lot of healing.  I am hoping that, with the work I'm planning through BodyPages, through Inner Excavation (which work I hope will be deepened and expanded on by working with the tips and techniques in Expressive Photography), through the plans I'm making for my Wild Minds Writing Retreat... I hope that through my personal work and the work I share with others I will find the healing I need even if I'm not completely, solidly sure of exactly what it is.  Wish me luck! :)

Reverb 10 Lesson Learned and Trying

Yesterday was so much fun!  My good friend Laura and I both had the day off work, so we went out to lunch and art shopping to celebrate her birthday.  I got the coolest collage sheets of old photographs! And some smooch spray and really cool translucent tape with colors and patterns! But I digress. 


Since I was off gallivanting, I missed my Reverb 10 posting, so I'm doing double time today.


December 17: Lesson Learned What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)


I learned that if I can keep myself from getting too frustrated and feeling hopeless and giving up on a project, if I can just get myself to breathe deeply and take the next step, then I can do things I thought I couldn't do (I really learned this when I was building my MuseCraft website--talk about feeling lost and clueless!).


How will I apply this lesson?  The same way I have been.  But in the coming year, I want to apply it to cleaning my house and creating a living space I really love and creating a physical self I am comfortable and happy with.  If I can keep this lesson in mind, keep practicing it, I think I really can do anything.


December 18: Try What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

Here's a little something I shot and then manipulated with filters, to get a jump start on that trying.

Try?  I don't know.  There are things I want to do, but off the top of my head I don't have anything new I want to try.  I want to write more poetry, which I haven't done in years, but that's not something new.  I want to really delve into photography.  Not just taking more pictures but really learning about how to use my camera, use lighting effects, use filters.  So I guess I do actually have something I want to try.

Reverb 10 December 16--Friendship

Friendship How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

I don't have a solid answer for this and feel a little bored by the question in some way I can't quite explain. But, I intend to carry this project through to the end of the month, so I'm going to answer.  Besides, my awesome friends deserve some applause.

This year, the fabulous Anna invited me to a really great workshop all about promoting your small business for very little cash expenditure.

The wonderful Brittney lured me into a love affair with all things bento.  (Um, I think I'm happy about this.  My wallet may have other things to say! *grin*)

Wow, I know there must be more things to mention, but I'm drawing a blank.  I'm going to just let this be done, and if I think of more to add later, I'll do an edit.  The end.

Two For One Deal! Reverb 10 (Five Minutes) and Wishcasting (Soar)

I thought I'd make it easy on all of us and combine these today.  I hope it doesn't make for too long a post!

 First, Reverb 10--5 Minutes Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

• Started my own coaching business, MuseCraft
• Learned to build my own website
• Learned to use Twitter and Facebook and connected with so many cool writers and creatives
• Made my first mixed media painting
• Had my first birthday party at home in twelve years
• Learned to make homemade pierogi
• Went on my first solo photowalk
• Joined in on Worldwide Photowalk in July
• Had my first massage and didn't hate it

 
Wishcasting: How do you wish to soar?

I wish to soar into action.  I want to overcome procrastination and anxiety, float right by them and straight into doing all of the things I really want to be doing in my life--writing, art journaling, teaching, painting, dancing, walking.  I want to soar above all the mundane things I let block my way and fly right into the life I want to live.

Reverb 10 December 14--Appreciate

December 14 – Appreciate What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

Oh, how much do I not feel appreciative today?!  My inner three year old is having a tantrum and doesn't want to write about this and hates everything and it's all stupid and why don't you just go away I'm running away from home right now!

Really needed to get that out of my system.  I am having car troubles, and the mechanic thinks it's the transmission which is way out of my budget for fixing and I am stressed beyond belief. So, appreciative?  Not so much.

The past year?  I want to write something mature or meaningful or something.  But the things that come to mind immediately?  My iPod Touch and my Kindle.  Yep, gadgets.  Oh, I'm supposed to pick one?  Hmmm... I guess the Pod.  I love all the entertainment and communication in this tiny little rectangular box I can hold in one hand.  Play cards, play Scrabble, tweet at friends, check on Facebook, browse the internet, shop at Amazon...all right there.  I can curl up under the blankets and have a whole world in my hands, and I just love it!  I got it used, so it's a first generation and doesn't have all the bells and whistles, but I just love having it around.

That's really all for me right now you guys.  Too much in my head, too much stress, really can't think straight so I'm going to make tea.

Reverb 10 December 13--Action

Action: When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

This one seems a lot more about looking forward to next year rather than wrapping up this year.  Still, it matches perfectly with where my head is right now.

My next step is to make a list of all the things I would like to accomplish and then prioritize them or pick the ones that I want to focus on.  I have these ideas roaming around in my head, but if I look closely I can see that there are too many to work on at once. So I need to pick the ones that I will do starting now and let the others wait in the wings for when there's room for them.

The things I want to do in the coming year:

• Get stronger, healthier, fitter, more comfortable and happier in my body
• Finish a novel and start submitting it
• Have my house clean, beautiful, welcoming--a sanctuary I love coming home to every day

There we go, there's step one.  These are the three things I'm going to be focusing on.  And they're big, so it's a lot even though I've pared down the list.  But I believe these can coexist and all get the time and attention they'll need to make them happen.

Reverb 10 December 12--Body

December 12 – Body Integration This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)


I don't feel like answering this!  It makes me sad--again.  This is feeling a little bit like a journey through the things I lack.  I don't feel integrated with my body.  I often feel like my body fights against me or that I fight against it--we are definitely at war too often.  I frequently catch myself thinking that I hate myself, and when I'm thinking that it's really my body, my physical self that I am railing against.  So, no.  There are no moments of integration, but I want them very much.


Lest this seem all dark and dreary with no shiny lining, I am doing something to make this happen.  I was going to post about this later this week, but apparently now is the time.  I am building an art journal group to focus on body--weight loss (or gain--whatever each of us needs), exercise, most especially acceptance and building self-esteem and self-love.  Creating bodies we can live in, love in, appreciate, love.


So, if you also want to get comfortable with your body, make healthy changes in a kind and compassionate way, learn to revel in your physical self, you're invited to join in. (And feel free to grab the image for a button on your blog if you like--there's a smaller version in the sidebar, too.)

One note--this is not something I'm doing as part of my professional coaching services although it may turn into some sort of e-book or course or something in future.  Right now, this is just me putting together some prompts and ideas and research to help myself and hopefully help those who come along for the ride.  I think it's going to be fun, but none of this is stuff I've tried before, so we'll all be doing everything together, no leaders, no followers, just companions.

Reverb 10 December 11--Things

The Reverb 10 question for today is really hard: Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)  It's really hard because I love things!  And stuff.  And a little bit of clutter.  I am not comfortable in an overly tidy, sparse place.  Still, there are things that can and should go.

1. Paper scraps and ephemera in multiple locations all over the house.  If I clear out the stuff I really don't want and then move all of the other bits to one area so they're all together, I will never have to search for that particular sheet of decorated paper or that one really cool wine label ever again!
2. Stacks of books everywhere.  Some of them just need to go away--novels I didn't like well enough to want to read again, instruction books or other non-fiction books that are out of date.  If all of my books learn to live on shelves, it will be so wonderfully easy to put my hands on whatever certain book I'm looking for at any given moment.
3. Embroidery supplies all over the place!  I am fairly certain that I have at least fifteen skeins of black floss because I keep misplacing them and having to buy more.  Having it all in one dedicated location will mean that I can just pick up a few items and start a new project.  It will also mean that when I'm planning a project I'll know for sure what I actually need to go out and buy rather than guessing at whether or not I have something--like black floss.
4. Clothes that don't fit.  I have stacks of clothes that I don't wear, mostly because they don't fit, and I can't quite seem to get them out the door.  If I do, there will be room for the clothes I actually do wear, and that would mean I could get dressed in something I actually like every day of the week.
5. Shoes.  I have such a hard time with shoes because I have structural issues and pain issues with my feet and ankles and legs.  So sometimes I get shoes and they seem okay and then they start hurting my ankles or legs.  And yet I hold onto them because they were expensive.  If I would just get rid of them, I could have space for new shoes that do work.  And I could stop tripping over them on my way to the thermostat.
6. Magazines.  I love to read magazines.  But I have a problem with holding onto them, and it's only become worse since I've started doing art journaling.  I have so many magazines, and I hold onto them because I think I will go through them and tear out promising collage pictures, but I almost never do that. And the magazines just pile up. I think I need to just recycle all of them and start fresh with new ones for clippings.  And I need to make a rule that magazines (except Cloth Paper Scissors, Quilting Arts and Writer's Digest) don't get to stay in the house longer than two months.  This would clear up so much space I could use for books and embroidery supplies!
7. Food I don't like.  It's sort of like with the shoes.  We buy something, I don't like it, yet I keep it because it was expensive.  So again I'm taking up space I could be using for something I actually want around me.
8. Old CDs.  Same as all of the above--they're taking up space in multiple locations.
9. Old video tapes.  Yes, I said tapes.  Once again with the using valuable space (oh, I see a trend here for certain, don't you?!)
10. Stacks of notebooks, binders, paper.  I don't need them.  I just have an office supply problem, but I have stuff that I bought for organizing systems I don't like or use. I could donate this stuff and make more space for useful things I want!
11. Old dishtowels, pot holders, bathroom towels, throw rugs.  They're ugly, unmatched, worn, and dirty, and they bring me down when I look at them.  I hold onto them because buying new ones is expensive, but if I got rid of the junky, worn stuff and got new stuff I like to look at, I believe walking into my kitchen or bathroom or bedroom and seeing pretty towels and rugs would go a long way toward helping me have a home I like to come home to.

Reverb 10 December 10--Wisdom

Today's prompt from Reverb 10: What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

I know I've made several good choices this year, mostly to do with stepping away from things that were taking too much of my time and energy.  Every one of those decisions has added to me moving closer to living the life I want to have.  They have all been good decisions, even when they were really hard choices becausethey involved stepping away from something that I wasn't completely ready to let go of yet.  But for this year, I don't think those are the wisest in the long run even though they added great things to my life.  The wisest decision this year was one I made with my beloved--we bought a dishwasher.

Don't laugh!  It has changed my life in crazy, huge ways.  I love that old, slightly beat up, noisy thing (it was used).

Here's how things used to be--come home from work exhausted, often in pain, wanting to lie down, needing some food.  Go to the kitchen to see about dinner and become instantly overwhelmed, sometimes to the point of tears.  Too often, decide that I couldn't handle making dinner and get fast food or pizza. 

Why couldn't I handle making dinner?  Besides the fatigue and pain which I still deal with, the kitchen was a disaster.  Both sides of the sink piled with dirty dishes.  The small amount of counter space we do have also piled with dirty dishes.  The stove piled with dirty pots and pans.  A small bench next to the sink stacked with more dirty stuff.  Frequently, every dish in the house was dirty.  I always had to move things around, make a bit of room at the sink, and do a bunch of dishes before I could even think about getting started on making food.  It was too much on too many days.

Now?  I still have days where I can't deal with making dinner--still too many of them for my liking--but now it's only because I'm exhausted and sometimes in pain.  Now, I walk into my kitchen and know that, except for the few things that might be dirty in the dishwasher at the moment, anything I own that I might want to use to make dinner is clean, in its place, and ready for me.  Now, I cook dinner much more often.  I experiment with new recipes.  I make breakfast on the weekends.

So actually, go ahead and laugh if you want.  I don't mind.  My best decision of the year is waiting for me at home to pile in dinner dishes after we've eaten, and all the laughter in the world isn't going to take the shine off of that.

Reverb 10, December 9--Party

"December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)"

Party? Did I go to any parties?  I guess I went to some gatherings, but I'm feeling quite sad right now, because I didn't do anything or go anywhere really special.  There was nothing that rocked my socks off.  That's not to say I didn't do some enjoyable things, go to some enjoyable gatherings. But I'm finding myself wishing I'd done at least one really special, fantastic, memorable thing this year.  The good news is this is showing me something I need to make sure happens next year.

Just so it's not too sad, the fun gatherings I went to this year:

• The I Heart Art Portland mixer in February
• My birthday party--it was small, but it was the first time since 1998 that I've been home for my birthday, and my aunt made special food, and some of my cousins came, and there was cake, and it was warm and loving and really great
• Our NaNoWriMo kickoff party which ended up being almost twice as large as I expected and filled with awesome, enthusiastic writers
• The Soiree of Furious Typing a couple of weeks ago, because there's nothing like staying up with a bunch of other writers until midnight in a cozy, slightly funky coffee house that's playing Dead Can Dance on the speakers specially for you

Here's a different sort of list.  What gatherings do I wish had happened this year to knock my socks off?  Maybe if I know what I want, I'll be able to create it in 2011.

• Something like Kelly Rae Roberts' LoveBomb group.  I have a longing, a craving deep in my heart, for days walking the beach and nights drinking wine around the fire with other women who share my love for books and writing and making art and being a little odd and watching the moon and listening to the rain
• A trip to one of the Steampunk conventions, complete with awesome outfit; I'd love to go, soak in the atmosphere, see the clothes and bright shiny things
• The Willamette Writers' Conference because I loved it when I did get to go and really want to go again

I need to stretch myself, push myself to get out of the house next year and make some of these things happen. People aren't just going to visit me in my bedroom, you know!  Learning so much from writing these little Reverb 10 snippets... 

Reverb 10--December 1-8

I completely missed out on hearing about this really cool, yearly web event: Reverb 10.  "Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what's next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what's happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. With Reverb 10, we'll do both." (That's from the website.)

I'm going to do a catch up post for the week I missed and then keep on with this through December because I love the idea and can see how focusing on this as this year rolls into next can really help me put energy behind my wishes for myself and my life.

December 1--One Word
     My one word for 2010 would have to be "fitful."  I've done a lot this year, met wonderful, creative people online that I am feeling more connected to all the time.  But there have been great periods of dormancy when I've been frozen by lethargy, self-doubt, depression, general inertia.  "Fitful" seems like a perfect description of my forward motion this year.

December 2--Writing
     "What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)"  I procrastinate, I play around online, I forget why I want to write and sometimes even that I do want to write, I actively avoid it, I tell myself mean things that make me feel it isn't worth the time.  Yes, I can eliminate a lot of this.  It's going to take a lot of work, but most of all it's going to take paying attention to the things I'm doing that keep me from my words.  But I can do it.

December 3--Moment
     This one makes me feel really sad and kind of like I want to give up on this venture.  I can't think of a moment when I felt most alive, not just from this year but in I don't know how long.  I really don't know, don't have an answer for this, and that is heartbreaking.

December 4--Wonder
     I cultivated wonder in my life this year by learning lots of new things, trying new things, and looking for it all around me.  I started a new business, learned how to build a WordPress website, started my first newsletter, joined in on many creative online groups and discussions, started playing with my camera more again to look more closely at the world around me, remembered to watch the moon and the stars the way I used to, watched the birds in my yard every day.

December 5--Let Go
     Have I let go of anyone or anything this year?  I did let go of some duties I had taken on in the SCA because they were taking too much time and effort and wearing at me when my heart had been pulled elsewhere.  I let go of spending my time and energy on things that no longer held much meaning for me.

December 6--Make
     What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)"  The last thing I made was this great new recipe for a Swiss potato dish called a rosti.  That was on Monday.  On the weekend, I made background pages in my art journal.  I make a lot of things throughout the year.  Is there something I need to clear some time for? Regular art journaling, although that's not specifically one thing.  Is there one thing?  Yes!  I know.  I want to make curtains for my bathroom and my studio--I really want them and keep not doing it.  So that's the one thing I want to make next.

December 7--Community
     "Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)"  This has been a really big word for me this year.  I had to really acknowledge that I'm lonely and really want and need more friends.  But in creating my new business, I have started connecting with people online, and I'm starting to feel that I'm becoming part of a community of creatives and writers.  One of the biggest ways this is happening is through Twitter, which still seems so odd to me. But in May I took a short workshop on using social media, learned about how to use Twitter effectively, and there you have it.  I've also connected with several people through Wishcasting on Jamie Ridler's website.  Took a wonderful class with Kelly Rae Roberts and connected with many fabulous artists there and on Facebook afterward. And I've connected with a great group of writers, most local to me, through NaNoWriMo this year.
     For 2011, I want to connect more with other writers.  I'm building a community for us online, and I hope it will bring many of us together for companionship and support and more writing.  I am also creating a community of women who want to change their bodies and physical selves while also feeling better about ourselves and learning to love and accept ourselves. 

December 8--Beautifully Different
     What makes me different that lights people up?  I guess I found out during NaNo that my ability to be a cheerleader of sorts is really appealing to people because I encourage and occasionally gently prod without being overly chipper or perky or annoying.  And I really like that about myself, so I think that might be a beautifully different thing about me.  What else is different about me?  I don't know for sure.  I feel fairly ordinary, but at the same time I know I'm not.  I'm still learning about the differences of me and learning to embrace them.