ROW80 check-in: This week has been angsty for me. I don't know why. I've been uncomfortable, on edge, unfocused, and twitchy. For no reason that I can pinpoint, and that is frustrating, because if I don't know what this is about, how can I fix it?
I know some things are weighing on me. Maybe my edgy, prickly uneasiness is just a pile-up of lots of random things going on at once. Who knows.
I am having trouble--again--finishing my story for this week. I am worried that I've taken on too much with this 52 Stories challenge. I am tempted to back out, to change to something easier. A story a month, which is something a friend of mine did last year.
What am I going to do if I don't finish a story one week? It will probably happen. Do I put up the partially finished story and finish it out later? Does that count as a failure even though I did write something? How am I keeping score for myself with this?
I know one thing. I am writing and enjoying it. I love having a story going. But I also love working on different things, I love the switch each week. I am not yet willing to let go of this challenge. It's only the third week. I haven't been doing it long enough to break through my barriers of resistance and fear and overwhelm and unconfidence (it's a new word, do you like it? goes with "angsty" up above).
This week, I think my story will get posted tomorrow. Too many random things came up in the past few days. Coupled with my general anxiety at the moment, I need to give myself a day. So, there it is. There's a day.
Later: Apparently giving myself a day caused me to sit down and finish that story. My brain is funny like that. This story was interesting because it came from a poem I've heard at least a couple hundred times, especially the line "the woods are lovely, dark, and deep." (Robert Frost, "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.") The other day, someone passed around a picture online with that quote, and the basics of this story popped into my head.
I don't feel like this story is one I'm going to flesh out. I kind of rushed the ending, too, but I got it down enough. This one was just one I wanted to get out. I think this story-a-week thing is teaching me how to bypass my ego and just focus on the words. I think I might like this, even when it's hard. I just need to remind myself not to get caught up in the fear and overwhelm.
Anyhow, here's the story, which was really kind of fun to play with. Not as fun as the one I have in mind for next week, though, so stay tuned!
Week 3: The Woods are Lovely