I am still in Chapter 1. I have been very resistant, but I think I'm finally getting through that. But it means that I'm a bit behind where I wanted to be right now, even with our nice, relaxed, two-weeks-per-chapter schedule. Ah, well. I will eventually catch up.
One of the things I am looking closely at right now from Chapter 1 is this sentence: "Most of the time when we are blocked in an area of our life, it is because we feel safer that way." There's a huge, loud, "YES!" echoing inside me when I read this. So I am working on journaling about why and how moving out of these unhappy, stuck places feels unsafe. I think this is a really important point for me--I think this preference for safety is keeping me stuck in all the places in my life where I feel stuck and unhappy and trapped. So I may be taking more time still with Chapter 1, but I think that might just be okay.
Daily Pages are happening intermittently. They're happening more days than not, so it's progress. I am planning my next artist date for this coming Sunday--not sure what I'm going to pick yet, so you'll just have to quiver in anticipation until next week when I report in!
Affirmations. I hate them. They feel stilted and stupid in my head and on my tongue, and I just can't find any that don't annoy me because they feel silly. Working on it, but really not doing much with that. This resistance may be because I really need these, though, so I am going to continue working on them, trying to find something that doesn't make me feel dumb when I write or say it.
More later in the week probably. I'm finding myself finally really reading the book and starting to do things instead of just poking at it half-heartedly, so I think there may be more to say soon.
Edit: The fears that are still with me after working through some of them:
- I will do bad work and be laughed at
- I will have only one good piece of work in me (so I have to make sure whatever I finally work on to completion is REALLY, REALLY good because it might be the only good piece I ever do, or maybe even the only piece I ever finish)
- It's too late. If I haven't become a fully functioning, writing writer yet, I never will