I decided to combine a ROW80 check-in and a Wishcasting post today, because my thoughts on both are running in the same direction.
This week for Wishcasting, Jamie asked, "What is your spirit wishing for?" I think my spirit and my writing are longing for the same thing--direction.
I am a deeply curious person. I'm constantly asking, "What is that?" or "Why does that work that way?" Children's questions, some would say, but that's fine with me. I really just want to know things, learn things, see new things. And mostly this is good.
But this tendency has left me with a problem. I know around eighteen million ways to plot and plan a novel and six hundred thousand ways to pray and worship and meditate and be spiritual. This is great, right? I know all sorts of things I didn't know before I started all of my reading and searching and learning. Lots of the things I've learned have really added to my life, if only because I spent time thinking about them. All of this has also left me kind of confused and disoriented and stuck because I have too many choices and can't figure out which way to go.
I am longing for something to speak to me, some way to step out in front of the others and say, "Come this way, over here, this is the path for you." That's not going to happen, of course. And there's not really one right way anyhow.
Was it Buddha who said, "All paths lead to enlightenment"? I just need to pick a path, step out along the way and keep going (it was definitely Buddha who said, "There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting."). I have to tell all the other pretty, shiny ideas, "Not now. I'm going this way." And then I have to stick with what I choose long enough to actually let it work.
That's all. I don't have any proclamations of "I choose this path!" right now. I just have the knowledge that I need to choose, and I need to move forward, and I need to keep going for long enough to really see where the path leads. My grandfather always used to tell me, "Do something, even if it's wrong." I need to do something and keep doing it long enough to know whether or not it's wrong.