Friday, June 11, 2010

Fiction Friday--June 11, 2010

Yesterday I discovered a site called Write Anything.  They do a fun little thing called Fiction Friday; this week's prompt was "I wish he'd knock on my door instead."  Apparently this prompt gave me some sort of college flashback.  My main character is a little bit sad, though.  I'm wondering if she can be salvaged for some future story...

I wish he’d knock on my door instead. He was always coming around late at night, after the floor parties, and he always went to Celia’s room. Sometimes she’d let him in, and I could hear them through the wall. It was not fun living next door to the popular girl. Popular. That’s what we called her. I think my mother might have a different name for her.

Sometimes Celia didn’t let him in. Sometimes she was in her room with someone else. I knew because I would hear that one knocking at her door, hear her open it and act surprised, as if she didn’t always have late night visitors. Sometimes she just wasn’t home; she didn’t always spend the night in her room. Sometimes, though, I knew she was home and knew she was alone, but she still didn’t answer her door when he came knocking.

At breakfast the next day, or sometimes at dinner later in the week, I would hear her talking about him. I usually sat at the end of the table where she and her friends gathered for food and gossip. She never had anything nice to say about him. I wondered why she ever let him in at all if she didn’t even like him. Sometimes I wanted to say something to her about it, ask her why. But I never did. I knew the looks she and her popular friends would give me. And I knew she’d never give me a real answer. So I sat silent, listening to her talk, and I wondered why he didn’t see that she wasn’t so nice or so special at all.

Sometimes I’d see him across the dining hall. He sat at the corner table with his friends. He always sat facing Celia. I couldn’t tell if he was watching her or not, but I imagined that he was. When I would get up to clear my tray, I had to walk across his line of sight, and I always imagined that for just a moment he was looking at me instead. I don’t think my posture is ever better than when I’m walking through the dining hall.

It’s funny how much I notice him. I hadn’t noticed him before I saw him in the hall one night knocking on Celia’s door. He stood leaning against her doorframe, head tilted toward the door as if he was listening to tell if she was inside or not. He lifted his chin at me in a brief nod, an acknowledgement of my existence. I looked away and hurried on to the bathroom, hoping he wouldn’t be there when I came back. He wasn’t, although I had combed my hair and rubbed some color into my cheeks just in case.

Now here I was, months later, listening to him knock on her door. I imagined myself opening my door and saying something to him, something clever and charming. Something that would make him really look at me. Something that would make him knock on my door in the middle of the night next time around.


Anonymous said...

Hi Kim,
if this is your first time to #fictionfriday, then a hearty welcome to you. There are a few of us who live around these parts and would love the pleasure of your company.
I like the piece. It has an emotional resonance in the characterisation that keeps it rolling along. Good stuff.
Adam B

John Pender said...

Another hearty welcome!
Good job on the story.

Laura Rachel Fox said...

Glad you stumbled upon the site. I've only been participating for a couple months. I absolutely love the chance to exercise my writing skills, share my work, and read the work of others.

I think you've captured the longing heart and the college atmosphere.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad someone else went down the college/university route - I couldn't think of anything else.
You did a really good job of making her feelings realistic, I really enjoyed it. My favourite line was 'my mother might have a different name for her' Brilliant.

I look forward to your story next week.

Annie said...

I'll add my welcome as well to the crew at #fridayFiction.. I agree with what the others have already said as well - a lovely piece resonating with my own experiences and emotions at College..

visitors can pop over and see mine at

Walt said...

Good work. The story flowed well and felt 'real'.

Welcome to Fiction Friday and thanks for sharing

Terry Haferkamp said...

Welcome to Fiction Friday. You will get some good feedback from this little group and encouragement too.
You did a good job of expressing the characters feelings: love, desire and envy.

Kim Switzer said...

Thanks for all the welcomes, everyone! I'm really happy to have found Fiction Friday!

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