Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Starting Line

Oh sure.  Technically ROW80 started last week.  That doesn't mean I was actually as ready to start as I thought I was.  I had plans.  I had goals.  I just didn't have myself together enough to actually get going.

Today I'm finally starting to feel like I'm in the swing of things, though.  Easing up on the pressure, breaking my goals in to smaller pieces, and generally giving myself a break so I don't keep running into a wall of resistance is working quite nicely.

What I Did So Far This Week:

Since Sunday, I did my PT stretches each day.  Sometimes half-heartedly or as an afterthought, but I did them.  Today was the first day I did my full 10-ish minute exercise routine, and it felt really good!  I could feel my muscles warming up and stretching and loosening.  It's a great feeling.  Why did I wait so long?  Oh yeah.  Wall of resistance. 

I did more work on my outline.  And today I did a little more work and came up with some questions* that really need answers, so I'll be doing some free writing/discovery writing on those during the rest of the week.  And then I am going to very gently sit myself down with my actual story document open and write something.  One sentence.  Maybe a whole paragraph.  Maybe more once I'm there.  Something to get the flow going again.

*The questions:
  • Why is Charlie so involved/letting himself get pulled in to this? 
  • How do Charlie and Nick know each other?
  • Is Nick actually a good guy?  Has he always been, or has he turned over a new leaf to become a good guy?  If he really used to hunt faeries, how and why?  Was he hunting and killing?
 I haven't done anything about making a list of mini areas in the house for cleaning.  I have some weird idea that I need to get it right, whatever that means.  As if I can't just tear a page out of the notebook and write something different if I find out what I originally plan isn't working out.  I do not like this obsession with "right" I have been living with my whole life.  It needs to leave right now!  There's the door, you.  Get out! (Think that will work?  I'll let you know.)  Still, I did identify one mini area that's especially bothersome for me (the area next to my recliner), and that's the one I'll  be working on this weekend.

Things I've Realized This Week: 
  • I need to give myself permission to take time off now and then.  I can set the amount of time--a day, two days, a week, whatever I seem to need--and then I need to take it off and leave aside the guilt.
  • I really need to learn to give myself credit for writing stuff that isn't actually writing of story.  Discovery writing to get to motivations is really useful.  So is planning out the next couple of scenes, working on the outline, all of those things that keep me engaged with the story but aren't writing the story.  There is no reason to feel guilty when I'm working on those and so haven't done any story writing.
  • Because Saturday was a forced day off because I was sick, I've been pressuring myself to "catch up" somehow, and that's just not working out.  The more I pressure myself, the more I resist and don't do anything at all.  Then I feel awful, put more pressure, do even less...vicious circle!  Step away from the pressure.  The only way to be free of the wall of resistance is to step away and let it fall down.
 That's it for now.  See you Sunday.  Happy writing!


The Daring Novelist said...

What I found is that when you're warming up, it's fine to skip the goal (or to fail to meet it). Just keep reporting -- and don't let yourself get discouraged. The habit of reporting on update days will still move you toward better writing habits.

Anonymous said...

Catch up never seems to work out so well...that's part of why I like ROW - adjusting seems to work better. And if PT is Physical Therapy, You should be pleased with yourself, halfhearted is better than not at all and stick to it like it's the most important thing in the world. It is a deal breaker in recovery!!

Heather said...

Thanks for visiting my blog today, Kim! It's great to connect with and be inspired by other writers as I set out to accomplish my goals this year. I also struggle with the need to get everything just "right," even on the first draft, and I'm trying to let go of it and just let my writing flow. Looking forward to following your blog!

Anonymous said...

Wow. Looks like you found some clarity this week. Don't worry about getting it right, just written. Have a good week.

Shan Jeniah Burton said...

It sounds like you're having a good run. And that you have excellent perspective.

May it just get better and better....!

Live, Love, Laugh, Write! said...

Congrats on moving forward!

Eden Mabee said...

I've heard that the old saying is "you can never catch up on sleep, time and lost dreams." So, if you can't actually catch up, you just keep plugging along... because you have to get there someday. That's why we write--because we have to. It's what keeps us happy and well adjusted. :-D

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