Oh sure. Technically ROW80 started last week. That doesn't mean I was actually as ready to start as I thought I was. I had plans. I had goals. I just didn't have myself together enough to actually get going.
Today I'm finally starting to feel like I'm in the swing of things, though. Easing up on the pressure, breaking my goals in to smaller pieces, and generally giving myself a break so I don't keep running into a wall of resistance is working quite nicely.
What I Did So Far This Week:
Since Sunday, I did my PT stretches each day. Sometimes half-heartedly or as an afterthought, but I did them. Today was the first day I did my full 10-ish minute exercise routine, and it felt really good! I could feel my muscles warming up and stretching and loosening. It's a great feeling. Why did I wait so long? Oh yeah. Wall of resistance.
I did more work on my outline. And today I did a little more work and came up with some questions* that really need answers, so I'll be doing some free writing/discovery writing on those during the rest of the week. And then I am going to very gently sit myself down with my actual story document open and write something. One sentence. Maybe a whole paragraph. Maybe more once I'm there. Something to get the flow going again.
- Why is Charlie so involved/letting himself get pulled in to this?
- How do Charlie and Nick know each other?
- Is Nick actually a good guy? Has he always been, or has he turned over a new leaf to become a good guy? If he really used to hunt faeries, how and why? Was he hunting and killing?
Things I've Realized This Week:
- I need to give myself permission to take time off now and then. I can set the amount of time--a day, two days, a week, whatever I seem to need--and then I need to take it off and leave aside the guilt.
- I really need to learn to give myself credit for writing stuff that isn't actually writing of story. Discovery writing to get to motivations is really useful. So is planning out the next couple of scenes, working on the outline, all of those things that keep me engaged with the story but aren't writing the story. There is no reason to feel guilty when I'm working on those and so haven't done any story writing.
- Because Saturday was a forced day off because I was sick, I've been pressuring myself to "catch up" somehow, and that's just not working out. The more I pressure myself, the more I resist and don't do anything at all. Then I feel awful, put more pressure, do even less...vicious circle! Step away from the pressure. The only way to be free of the wall of resistance is to step away and let it fall down.