Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I'm Just a Ball of Confusion

The funny thing about this yarn is that it's actually a muted, heathery berry color.  Filters altered it completely away from its reality.  It's like me.  I look like one thing on the outside, but I'm actually something quite different. I tend to look calm and competent and as if I have a plan.  Mostly, though, I'm just confused and longing for a clear path and wishing I could figure out how to do all the things I want to do.  And then I curl up with candy, kitties, and TV shows and block it all out for a while.

That's what I did the past couple of days.  There was a lot of knitting and reading in there, too.  I wasn't quite ready to jump back into the world on Monday, so I decided to just give myself time and space and let my heart tell me when it was ready to enter the world again.  Today, my heart is still sore, but it is better.  I needed that downtime--days' worth, not just an evening or afternoon.  It was a good plan.

Speaking of plans, even though I wasn't actively working on my story it was working on itself in the back of my head.  My muse gifted me with a great addition to what's happening with my MC; it's going to be very important later in the story!

I also had to admit to myself that I don't really like Scrivener.  I want to like it.  There are a lot of things I do like.  But somehow it's not working for me.  The main issue is not being able to add colored text, larger text, bold or italic text on my note cards.    Some of what I write in my scene cards is more important that the other stuff, and I like to be able to make it stand out.  I also like bulleted lists on my scene notes, and Scrivener doesn't let me do that, either.  The final straw is that, although I followed their instructions for loading and using it from my flash drive, it gets hung up with some files and thinks it can't open them on my work computer.  I'm constantly fearful that I'll sit down to work on my story only to find that I'm missing parts or can't access some of it.  Not conducive to writing, let me tell you!  So I'm going back to The Journal, and I'll worry about moving it to something where I can print it, turn it into a single file, and all of that exciting stuff later.  For now I just want to go back to my writing, and The Journal makes it easy and comfortable, so I'm sticking with it.

One last little bit in this somewhat disjointed ramble of mine--I'm going to try doing an ongoing blog post each week with details each day of what I wrote that day.  I'm going to include everything--journaling, writing from prompts, character sketches, work on my story.  I'll keep this as a draft, write it from Monday-Sunday, then post it on Monday before starting the next one.  I like the idea of seeing what I've done each week, and I also like the idea of being able to get encouragement from my writing buddies.

Thank you, everyone, for your kind and compassionate responses on Sunday.  I love this ROW80 crowd!  See you Sunday, and until then, happy writing!


Eden Mabee said...

Ooh, Kim, glad you got that day you needed (I SOOOOOOO understand). I confess a bit of envy, but I'm sure all will work out eventually.

Sorry to hear you haven't been able to work things out with Scrivener (can't say how the flash drive thing works, I just use Dropbox for my work files and preferences and have the main program installed on my two machines). Though I do know you can change the colors of "ink" on your note cards (at least I have been able to)... It doesn't matter though. If Journal works for you, you should use it. Nothing destroys someone's flow more than having to redesign their process. I know...I was sort of forced into redesigning mine, because I used the old DOS WordPerfect 5.1... And as I had to change operating systems on my computers, the DOS things were less and less supported. That's the only reason I became a Scrivener devotee myself. It just happens that it works for me. Sorry it didn't work for you.


Wendy Jane said...

Take all the time you need. Those stories will be there when you are ready. A good break every now and again can do amazing things.

You're doing very well. Keep up the good work :)

Judith said...

I'm glad you listened to yourself and took the time you needed - and, whaddya know - you got the gift of a new perspective on your MC. My guess is, there's a definite connection between that and giving yourself the space you needed. Good luck this week!

Virginia Lori Jennings said...

When I am feeling down about actually writing I just sit down and work on the story in my mind too! I feel much more free in my mind to try the crazier things my brain is afraid, or just can't figure out how, to type.

I have never seen Scrivener... though I have tried ywriter and storybook. Both programs had me running back to my trusty Open Office lol. I just use the bookmarks to keep track of special scenes or places I need to go back to... I also use the 'notes' feature to write stuff off to the side or even drop in alternative text for me to decide on later with a clearer mind!

Wishing you luck!

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