I used to love summer. Maybe some of that was because of the freedom of being out of school, although I was also one of those kids who, by mid-July, was actively planning and longing for the start of the new school year. I also used to love the sun, putting on my bathing suit and tanning in the yard, fully equipped with suntan lotion, magazines and books, sunglasses, music and a cool drink.
Now? I hate it. I don't have appropriate summer clothes because I can't stand to not be covered up, plus it's really hard to find things in my size so shopping, especially for summer clothes, is a nightmare (doubly so with my foot, ankle and leg problems because I can scarcely find shoes that don't hurt my feet let alone cute, summer sandals!). I feel awkward and ungainly going out in public, and it's worse in summer because there's just not enough fabric to the clothing to offer me much armor. And then it stays light longer, so there's not even the comfort of the cover of darkness! I hate summer (oh when did the beach loving, dreams of living in California girl turn to this?!). Bring on autumn with it's crisp air and beautiful colors and darker evenings and cozy, concealing clothing.
Ah, this whole post makes me sad. I wanted to skip Wishcasting this week, but I have promised myself that I'm going to talk more about my body issues and wanting to hide all the time, and then Jamie popped up with this summer question, and it was clearly a good place to dive in.
This week, Jamie's question is, "What do you wish for this summer?" What do I wish for? To find a way to be comfortable in my skin and my clothes and my shoes so I can just let go and enjoy the warm breezes and bright sun (if they ever arrive here in rainy Portland) and the long days and relaxed nights...I wish for some of that summertime joy that I used to have when I was young.