NaNoWriMo Day 21

I didn't write yesterday.  I had a relapse of my nasty cold on Friday, and yesterday was generally miserable, too.  Today, finally, I feel mostly better.  I still have a bit of a cough, and my throat is not completely better, but it feels so much better by comparison!  Now if I could just stop needing to sleep so much.

So, NaNoWriMo. My plan for the rest of the month is to write at least 3,000 words each day.  Thursday being Thanksgiving may put a bit of a kink in that plan, but if I do at least the 3K over the next few days, I'll have a cushion going into Thursday and will be fine, especially because Friday I am off work and can write all day.

I'm starting to see a pattern in my writing schedule.  I think I'm not an every day writer.  I seem to do really well with 3-4 writing sessions a week, especially if I can make them 2-3 hours long.  That's actually a really good thing to know.  That's also a writing schedule I believe I can easily fit into my life even when it's not November.  That should let me easily reach my 25,000 words a month goal I'm planning on.  I may even find that 25K is a little low, but I'll wait a few months and see how it goes. Maybe I'll revisit my plan and adjust my monthly goals at the end of March--three months should give me a decent idea of whether or not my plan is a good one for me.

Back to NaNo. Today I've written 2,027 of my 3K.  I'm taking a break now to clean up and go grocery shopping.  It's cold and wet and nasty out, so I'd really rather stay here and write.  It's so hard to drag myself out of the house on days like this!

But drag myself out the door I must, because I am not excessively rich and have no servants to send out shopping for me.  Anyone feel sorry for me?  I didn't think so. :D

Have a great Sunday, everyone! More writing talk tomorrow, I'm sure.

Breaking Free From the Panic Trap

Writing? What writing? That’s what this week feels like. The short story I’m working on, “Scissors Beat Paper,” isn’t coming together very well. I am slowly working on reworking the outline and plans for Blood of the Mist, but right now I’m feeling sluggish and (if I’m being honest) just a little resentful of having to practically start all over from scratch, so this isn’t exactly gliding along, either.
The worst part is that a lot of the difficulties I’m having right now are self-inflicted. I haven’t been sleeping well, so I’m feeling exhausted, and that’s making everything take much longer and require much more effort than it should, and yet I can’t seem to make myself go to bed earlier. I procrastinated a lot over the past two weeks, and now, with tomorrow’s writers’ meeting looming, my brain is frozen in deadline panic. And on top of all of that, I am letting myself succumb to the siren call of new story ideas which are flinging themselves at me fast and furious right now.
Some of the stumbling blocks are external, though. My office manager is on vacation this week, so I am doing two jobs at work all week. I am also getting ready to go to a big camping event this weekend followed immediately by flying to Chicago next Thursday for my cousin’s wedding. So my brain is swirling with plans and lists and “how am I going to get everything done?!”
I’ve found a way around this sort of brain-freezing terror, though. It works when I remember to do it. Actually, this post is part of the cure. I know a lot of artistic/creative types get into these bouts of hysteria—I think it comes with the territory. In the past, I could easily have let this build on itself and go on for months. But now, a bit over a week into it, I have recognized that I’m caught in the panic trap. Time for the antidote. Maybe it will help some of my readers, too, when they get caught up in the same snare.
First, recognize and acknowledge where you are. Out loud or in writing or both. I am procrastinating and panicking because I have a writers’ meeting tomorrow and have nothing written.
Next step—make a plan. Again, out loud or in writing or both. I will write a brief outline of the short story and do a short character sketch of Caylee and then jump back into the rewrite. For BotM, I will keep working with Dramatica Pro on the planning and outline and when I am done with that I will make a schedule for the actual rewrite.
Now, make a schedule for the various parts of your plan. It’s okay to just schedule the first part, as long as you actually schedule the next part when you finish the first and so on. I will do the outline and character sketch when I get home tonight. I will start the rewrite by making notes on the printout of the current draft, also tonight. I will do the actual rewrite tomorrow afternoon.
There. Now I can breathe again. Having a plan with small steps to follow and a schedule of exactly when I’m going to start and what I’m going to start with soothes my mind, lets me focus and move forward. And moving forward is all it takes to escape the fear fiends every time.

Deadlines, Schedules, and Staying on Task

This week in My Writing Life…
I am trying something new that is working really well for me. I’m using Microsoft Outlook to keep track of the writing tasks I want to do each day. And so far it’s fantastic!
I have always known that I am highly responsive to external deadlines. External rewards, too. I work really well under pressure, as long as that pressure comes from outside of myself (like during NaNoWriMo, for instance). But keeping to my own deadlines and schedules? That doesn’t work so well for me. Until now.
My beloved mentioned that he has to set reminders to tell him to go on his breaks and go to lunch because otherwise he gets really wrapped up in his projects at work and forgets to leave his desk. I was intrigued with the idea of getting my computer to tell me when to do things (yes, I know I’m way behind the times on this—I just never looked into it!). I mentioned wishing I could get my computers to do this for me, and he told me that I can, and that I’ve had the program for years. Years! And I had no idea what it was for! (Oh yes, I am embarrassed, but oh well…)
Last week, I decided to try Outlook and find out if it would be useful for me. The first two days, I only put a few things on the calendar, just testing it out. And I found that having that little chime sound as the little reminder note pops up acts for me the same way an external deadline acts. It keeps me on task and keeps me moving!
I am spending much less time fooling around on the internet (although I do schedule myself some e-mail and online play time). I’m not playing much solitaire at all. I’m definitely not spending an hour or more at a time just vegging in front of the computer when I’m feeling unmotivated or indecisive about what to work on. I am amazed and thrilled by this! I’ve even set a reminder for three different times during the day that pops up and asks me, “Are you doing something you want to be doing?” Even if I am vegging out when that pops up, I can’t go back to it after that question.
I’ve decided I’m going to get a PDA, maybe for my birthday, so I can have my little, tinkly reminders with me even when I’m not in front of the computer. Because when I’m at home, I’m not in front of the computer that much, so it would be nice to have something reminding me that I meant to pull out my notebooks and write or pull out my writing books and study or whatever.
So what have I accomplished in the last nine work days by using Outlook? I’ve started my read-through and summary of Blood of the Mist. I’ve started the rework of the plot. I did all three of my blog posts on the correct days last week. I’ve read through some books I’ve been poking at and meaning to really read. I’ve pulled out a short story I want to revise and send out, and I’ve started working on it. I’ve sent e-mails I keep putting off and then forgetting. In other words, I’m doing all the things I want to be doing! I expect I will smooth out my system and really make a lot of headway as I find new ways to use Outlook, but even this early in my experiment I am seeing real benefits from this.
So that’s where I am right now. And a reminder just popped up telling me it’s time to do some work on my short story, so I’m off to do that. Next week, I'll report on the writing books I’m working with right now…

Temporary Schedule Shift

Once again, I find myself needing to apologize for skipping posts. My schedule—or rather my lack of ability to organize it efficiently—kept me overly busy.

For the time being, I am going to change my posting schedule. I am planning to take some time to make contacts and build a readership, and then I will return to the twice weekly posting schedule. Meanwhile, I will be back to regular posts but on a once-a-week schedule starting next week on Tuesday.

Until then, here's a quote from Writing the Breakout Novel:

"Marshalling detail and learning the art of writing in nouns and verbs are essential to success in any type of writing. That is especially true in the breakout novel. An expansive setting is not vague. It is highly particular. But while a breakout setting is closely observed, it also has a wide focus.

The breakout novelist does not merely set a scene; she unveils a unique place, one resonant with a sense of time, woven through with social threads and full of the destinies the universe has in store for us all. She does not merely describe a setting, she builds a world. She then sets her characters free in that world to experience all it has to offer."

Just Write

“I think the hardest part is getting a draft finished. It’s important to stop thinking about writing and just write. It’s something I grapple with every day—stop thinking, start writing.” ~ Sara Gruen (From a Writer’s Digest interview with Sara Gruen, the author of the bestseller Water for Elephants.)

This quote hit me hard today. Probably because this is something I’m working with right now, my hesitancy to actually write. I am struggling with it, only half sure of the reasons for it, and it seems like everywhere I turn someone is telling me “just write.”

Just write. How? I don’t know. I want to be working on my novel. Novels. I am not working on them.

I have some ideas of things I can or should be doing to get back into them—reread the last 50 pages, do some character work to get a better handle on who my people are and what they would really do in various situations. I am not doing any of this either.

My hesitancy might hint at some deep-seated fears. They might. I’m sure there are fears hanging around in there. I can feel some of them, especially the fear that the book won’t be any good (Duh! First draft generally equals not so good) and the fear that I won’t know how to do good revisions and make a not so good book into something publishable.

I don’t think these are the reasons I’m not writing. Or at least not the main reasons. I think I am not writing because I have a habit of not writing. And possibly (probably) the idea of breaking that habit by writing something important to me—like my novels—is a bit too daunting.

I do know the way out of this. Writing. More specifically, writing practice. Various subjects, free writing, non-stop for 15 or 20 minutes a day. Over and over, every day, until the dam breaks. And then the novels can begin again.

I have brushed past this knowledge a few times in the past months. I don’t want this to be the thing I need to do. I want to be working on my stories. But that isn’t happening, and I need to break out of this not-writing habit. So, writing practice. This week and next week. Every day. 15 minutes.

To make myself feel better, I will allow research, character work, notes about my stories while I’m doing this. But I’m not going to actually do any writing for them. Not yet. May 5. I can start story writing then for the next Book-In-a-Week session.

I think I’ll use writing prompts as my starting points. I generally enjoy them, and they’re a good way to keep the focus on just writing and stay away from story (and isn’t forbidding myself from writing story just a fabulous way to build the desire?). Time to check out my favorite prompt site, Toasted Cheese, and get started.

On Shirking Obligations

I have made a decision. I have decided that the time for writing is now. I have decided that now is when I begin to build the writing life I have dreamed of.

I know. Good for me, but you can’t do this. You have obligations. You have reasons you cannot write right now. And if you believe you have things that keep you from being able to write, you are correct. You do. I can't fault you for that. I had things for years that kept me from being able to do more than scribble parts of stories and lists of story ideas.

But then I realized, just recently, that I only thought I had things keeping me from writing. I discovered that they weren’t actually there. They were figments of my imagination, phantoms born of my fears. And I turned away from them, and I saw that now is the time to write.

And someday—really, it will happen; don’t worry—the time will be right for you to turn away from your stumbling blocks and begin to write.

How do I know? Been there, done that. You’re thinking, “What does she know? She doesn’t know my life.” True. But I know about stumbling blocks. I know about writing. And I know a lot about not writing. And lately I’m starting to learn a lot about priorities.

What’s important to you? I always say “writing” and “stories." When I finally, really looked at my answers, I had to ask myself some hard questions. What am I filling my life with? Am I giving top priority to the things I love? If I die tomorrow, will anyone be able to say that I followed my passions? I want good answers to these questions. I do not want someone to write “she always did the dishes” on my tombstone!

Yes, dishes are important. I’m trying to learn that and balance it with my dreams. My beloved and I are creative people. We love to make things. We do not love to clean things or put things away. Right now, I’m living in a disaster area, and it does negatively affect my outlook and sometimes my output. So I’m not saying keeping house isn’t important. It’s just not that important.

If you go home and work at chores for several hours, cooking and cleaning and laundering and so on, and you don’t get any writing done, and this happens day after day…It’s time to take a step back. Ask yourself how important those dishes really are. Anyone can do the dishes. No one else can write or create what you can.

Make yourself a deal. Pursue your passions first, but set yourself a time limit. Get home, eat something, work on your dreams. Then, give yourself 15 minutes or 30 minutes or an hour, whatever you need, and take that time for the housework. Give yourself a longer time for this once or twice a week to make sure things get/stay in good shape. But do not make busy work, even useful busy work, your priority. Your passions must be your priority. You must get those creative dreams out into the world. Because no one else can do what you can do, and no one else can give us the things your dreams can build.

Long time no write

I’m a real slacker on this blog right now, aren’t I? I’m sort of that way with everything, though, so don’t feel sad little blog. And on top of being in general slacker mode, I have some sort of nasty bug this week. I’ve been out of commission all week, mostly lying in bed sleeping. Today I am actually at work, but I’m losing energy pretty fast, so I think I’ll be going home early.

In better news, I made my BIW goal this month. I even went one page further. And right now I am working for a few weeks with a creativity coach—she’s in training, so I get to work with her for free. I wish that my first full week with her wasn’t one where I couldn’t even sit up for any length of time let alone write anything. Still, something she said in an e-mail yesterday has triggered an idea I want to try out. I am slightly stuck with how I want the next part of Blood of the Mist to go. So I am going to try to freewrite about what I want to have happen in this last section of the book. I’m just going to write as many pages as I can of how I want it to be—what I want to happen, how I want it to feel, all of that. And see if that doesn’t stir things up and let me write the ending finally.

In other news—next weekend is Potlatch! I am excited and reluctant all at once. I am worried that I’m going to find that it’s a waste of time. There are discussions and things that sound interesting, definitely. But I’m worried that since I didn’t manage to write something so I could be in the critique group I won’t find anything really worthwhile to do there. This is probably a totally incorrect idea. But it’s still a bit of a worry. I’m sure I will get there and find interesting people to talk with and make contacts and do all the things I was hoping to do. Which reminds me—I need to print up my little contact cards so if when I meet those interesting people I want to keep in touch with I can give them a card with my name and e-mail address and maybe the URL to this blog.

Oddly, although I haven’t yet managed to finish a book, and although I haven’t been writing that much for the past two months, I think I may be becoming a real writer. I am starting to be able to see it, and it is starting to feel like I need just a few more pieces to the puzzle, a few more things put properly into place, and I will be doing it. I think part of this is because I am close on BotM, and then I only have a little bit more to go to get a first draft finished of Ordinary Girl. And then I have the new story that I started plus a really good idea for a story that I came up with two years ago that I think I can actually write now because I’ve learned how to do planning in a way that lets me write. And then after that I have some one and two line story ideas hanging out in my notebook. So I think I have some things to work with.

So should I have some sort of schedule for this I wonder? Maybe a tentative one, at least? Honestly, since I’ve never written a whole book before, I am not sure how long these things should take or how long they will take me or how I should progress or what I should expect from myself. But if I have at least a tentative schedule, then at least it’s something to aim for, right? So, here:

February 22-March 31—Finish first draft of Blood of the Mist

April 1-May 30—Finish first draft of Ordinary Girl

June1-June 30—Planning for new stories (paranormal investigators and Irish ghost story)

July 1-August 15—Second draft of Blood of the Mist

August 16-September 30—Second draft of Ordinary Girl

October 1-October 31—Revise BotM

November 1-November 30—NaNoWriMo (work on one of the two new stories I planned)

December 1-December 31—Final rewrite of BotM, then give it to readers for feedback

This will take me through the end of the year. If I push a bit, I think I can mange to submit BotM by the end of the year which was one of my goals for the year. I will have to think about this schedule a bit and maybe do some revision to it so I can have the book ready to submit by mid-December. Because I would really like to make that goal for the year. Even if it is scary.

And with that, I think I’m going to wrap things up here and go home and go to bed. I got my new Charles de Lint book, and I think a pile of pillows, some juice, and a good book are in order for the rest of the day.